Thursday, June 28, 2012

Super Important Post

I purposefully carved out time to write today and although I usually have so many ideas on what I want to write about all I can think about today hair.  So, here it is, just what you've been waiting for, a post about my hair!  :)

I got a haircut yesterday.  I was long overdue and wanted to try something different so I brought this picture to the girl who has been cutting my hair for the past year.

So cute, right?  It's a little daring, but I really wanted a change.  I also showed her a picture of my friend Jen who has a similar looking cut.  I told her how I wanted to keep the length in the front, a little length in the back.  I told her how I knew it was quite a bit shorter than what I had but I wasn't afraid.  I just didn't want it to be so short in the back that I looked like a boy.  I told her how I had that once and didn't like it.  Pretty clear, right?

Well, I look like a boy!  Or at least I feel like I do!  From the first few snips I thought, uh-oh, it's going to be shorter than I want it to be.  I told myself to trust, it was going to be okay.  What was I going to do anyway?  She started in the back and just cut cut cut and goodbye hair!  She's very detailed in her work and does lots of texturizing.  Once she got to the front I was getting nervous.  Ahhh!  Did she really just cut all of my hair off?

I still thanked her.  Still tipped her.  Didn't make any mention of how she just cut it way way shorter than the picture and now I was going to go home and cry.  Really, I just tried to block it all out and pretend that it was going to look a lot better once I washed and styled it at home.

Luckily I have the kind of husband who says things like, "it doesn't matter what your hair looks like, you're still hot,"  and "it's not like you're trying to go out and pick up other dudes or anything."  Seriously, I can't tell if he really likes it or not and I guess that's a good thing.  He even offered to shave his head.  Maybe I should've said yes just for fun.

My mom went on and on about how cute it was and my best friend said she loved it.  I guess it's nice to have people around you to say the right things to make you feel better even if they are completely biased and possibly lying!  :)  The haircut itself is cute, she did a good job.  It's just not what I wanted and I just don't feel like it looks like me.  It's so different.  I feel kind of naked and exposed.  It's weird.  I know.  Or is it?

I've been working on being my most authentic self and I know that has very little (or nothing) to do with how my hair looks.  I am not my hair.  It really shouldn't matter.  Still, I need some time and a little venting to get over it!

I guess for now I'm just going to focus on the positive.  It's really going to cut down on my get ready time which is nice and since it's summer it will feel cooler to have almost no hair.  And of course, being me, I can't help but look for some lessons here.  Should I have stopped her when I first suspected it was too short?  Should I have been more assertive and at least let her know that I didn't like it or think it looked like the picture at all?  I don't know.  Maybe none of it matters.  Maybe it's just another way to let go of the outer layer, the identification with my outside appearance.  A way to free myself from the bondage that being overly concerned with how I look creates.

So this is the last minute I'm going to be a baby!  It's time to go figure out how to rock my new do!  And after all, it's not like I'm trying to go pick up other dudes or anything, right?  :)

What do you think?  Do you have any haircut disaster stories?  Do tell!

Love to You!