12 Days til 40 ~ Living the Healthy Life!

So the countdown is on!  I have 12 more days in my 30's!  What the????  How in the world did it go so fast?  I used to think 40 was old.  Hell, I used to think 30 was old, 24 was old!  So now, am I old?  I don't feel like it!!  In fact, I feel like I'm just getting started!  Yesterday I shared my post from last year, 39 Things I've Learned in 39 Years and How They Help Me Live My Best Life Now on my facebook page and re-reading it has made me reflect on the past year, and how my life has changed since becoming a mom.  

I've been reminiscing about everything that I've done and been through; the past 7 years and my journey through pregnancies and being a mom, my journey as a teacher, consultant, blogger, stay at home mom, work from home mom, life coach, and fitness coach, my experiences as a wife, a friend, a daughter, and moving from one side of the country to another, and of course, my health and fitness journey through the years. There are so many things that I've learned and I'm excited to share with you!

My goal over the next two weeks is to post something every day about what I've learned in the past, what I'm doing and learning each day, and what life really is like when you're stepping into your authentic self and creating the kind of life you dream of!  My hope is to inspire you to continue to take your own steps and make your dreams come true!! 

So today I wanted to start with what life was like about a year ago.  We were enjoying our summer and I was preparing myself and Allison for kindergarten.  I was kind of nervous but pretty sure we were going to have a great year AND I was beginning to do more things for myself, outside of being a mom.

When I became I mom, I dedicated myself to the role.  I absolutely ADORE babies and children and ALWAYS knew that when I got to be a mom, it would be one of the most perfect, beautiful, and wonderful things that I would ever do.  And it has been!  I have been blessed beyond measure with two healthy, loving, creative, smart, funny, awesome little girls!  I LOVE being a mom, just like I knew I would.  I appreciate that I've been able to stay home with them and be there for them just like I always wanted.  That being said, I could also feel this deep calling that it was time to make a shift and do something for me!  

I was at my parent's one day and noticed an ad on the back of the "Star" magazine that comes in the Sunday paper.  It said, "BE our Cover Model!  Seeking San Antonio women with a passion for living a healthy, balanced life!"  I was like, that's me!  The contest was for a new local magazine called Healthy Life Body*Mind*Spirit.  

I had never entered a contest like this before and I was kind of surprised how bad I wanted it!  Me??  A cover model?  Where did this come from?  I was excited to represent myself as a "fit mom" and thought about how I wanted to inspire other women, especially those that are constantly caring for others, to take care of themselves too.  I brought the Star home and got right to work on my essay.  It flowed easily and I felt good about it. They also wanted a picture of you showing your healthy lifestyle.  I sent them this one:

A few weeks later I received an email saying I was chosen as one of the finalists!  WOOHOO!!!!  I was so excited!  I had to go downtown for a test shoot for final selection.  Oh...my...gosh!  It was one of the coolest things I've ever done!  I hadn't had a photo shoot since my wedding and it was so much fun getting all prettied up and taking pics.  It was so much fun doing something for me and it inspired me to dream bigger.  

I didn't hear anything for a while and then found out in September that they were going to change the format a little.  Instead of it being a magazine, it was going to be a section in the newspaper.  Time went by and I got busy.  Kindergarten was a lot busier than I anticipated and we needed some adjustment time.  I never forgot about the contest but I figured if it was meant to be, it would happen.  In November, (maybe early December?) I got a call from the San Antonio Express News...I was chosen to be the January Cover Model!!!  AHHHHH!!!!  I was so excited!    This meant I did NOT overindulge over the holidays and I stayed on track with my exercise!  Yay me!  ;)

It was an AMAZING experience!  I felt like a princess!  Everyone was so kind and made me feel so comfortable!  I was introduced as "Kristie, our cover model" and I could NOT stop smiling!  I have never had anyone pick out a wardrobe for me and it was interesting to see what they picked!  I had ladies helping me with my make-up and jewelry.  It was so much fun!  I felt so honored and so happy!  For just a few hours, I felt a million miles away from juggling meals, dishes, laundry, and homework.  From having sticky hands squeeze my legs and boogers being wiped on my shirt.  It was an awesome contrast and because I had some special time to make things happen for myself, when I came home, I appreciated the boogers and tears and chocolate kisses that much more!  It's all about the balance, right?!  

Here is the cover:  

This is what the section with the article looked like:

Not very good quality!  I need to take a better pic!

Here are some more pics from that day:

Remember when I did that 30 Day Video Challenge?  

This is the video where I talk about my Cover Model experience!  

Talk to you tomorrow!  

Love to You!

~Kristie

Never Good Enough

It's been awhile since I've written, but I've had a million posts run through my head!  So many things have happened in the last couple of months and it feels like finally, after throwing all the glitter in the air and taking another leap, the pieces are slowly falling beautifully into place.  Or something like that, depending on how I'm choosing to look at things in the moment!

Remember how happy and perfect everything fell into place in my last post?  I was literally walking on sunshine!  I was so totally excited!  When we first moved in, it was perfect.  I put everything in the room it needed to be in and the move was pretty easy.  I scrubbed and cleaned and organized.  I was in heaven.  But it didn't last.

The girls got sick for a couple of days so I had to slow down to take care of everybody.  Then Peanut, our little dog who will be 14 in August, followed me up and down the stairs too many times and started limping.  She needed to be carried up and down the stairs, outside, etc.  She lost her appetite and I seriously had some moments where I thought, "Oh No!  Don't die now!  We just moved into our new house!  I can't lose you now!"  Allison didn't help with her questions.  "Is Peanut going to heaven soon?  Should we give Peanut a bath to get her ready for heaven?"  Seriously, I am NOT ready for Peanut to go to heaven yet so can we please talk about something else?  

Then I noticed how the windows needed to be cleaned and the blinds looked dingy and the weeds needed to be pulled.  I needed to go shopping, do the laundry, and clean out everybody's drawers.  I had to steam clean the carpets, wash all the floors, and the bathrooms needed cleaning again.  Oh and there were birthday presents to buy, and Brad went out of town a few times and this is all in addition to normal everyday life which includes crafts, books, songs, nagging (me: get dressed, brush your teeth, eat your lunch, be nice to your sister, etc.), playing (we had some fun too!) and all the other stuff that we do everyday.  Not to mention the challenges of having a five year old and an almost two year old who are both in their own stages of learning, growing, whining, and testing!  :)  In normal everyday life the days are pretty full.  In "we just moved into a new house" life, there's a million extra things to do and well, the days don't get any longer just because I have more to do!

I kept going but was starting to feel stressed.  I skipped yoga a few times.  Okay, I actually skipped it more than a few times.  I just didn't have anything left in me to do it.  At night my feet were feeling sore and a couple of my toes felt numb and tingly.  Finally the day came where I just couldn't keep the tears at bay anymore.  So I cried.  Then I cried some more.  This doesn't happen too often but when it does, I know I've gone over the edge and I thought, what am I doing to myself?  Where in the hell did all my happiness go?  Why am I letting myself get all whacked out?

I decided I needed some clarity and took some time for reflection.  I grabbed a glass of wine and read some old journal entries.  I love how this happens!  I opened a notebook and found just what I needed.  I came across an entry from 2002.  At the time I felt overwhelmed by life.  I felt like I could do my best all day everyday and it would never be enough.  I could always do more.  I could always do better.  Which led me to feel like I could never do enough and I would never be enough.  This, of course, wasn't good.  It scared me.  It made me wonder if this was what being an adult was going to be like forever.  I definitely didn't want that!

Although I believe that sometimes you need to push yourself to do things in life in order to achieve success, I know now that there's a line that can be crossed.  There's a fine line between motivation and self- sabotage.  I didn't even realize it until I found this book called, Never Good Enough:  How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life, by Dr. Monica Ramirez Basco.

This book was the first "self help" book that I purchased and it really helped me!  I learned how the thoughts I was having about myself and my life were connected to how I was feeling and how I could change.  It helped me to understand where these feelings were coming from and also led me to seek out a deeper connection to the bigger picture in life, to God, The Universe, and spirituality.  Obviously, I'm continuing to learn this because here I am, ten years later, revisiting these lessons yet again!

Why am I suddenly struggling when I was just so happy?  I'm striving for perfection.  I still hold onto the thought that if my house is super clean, and everybody eats perfectly well balanced yummy meals, and my kids are super smart and creative, loving people, and I blog regularly and grow my business, and I see my friends and family regularly, and I pursue my passions, and I do everything PERFECTLY, then I will be satisfied.  I will feel complete.  People will see me as successful and I will see myself as successful.  But I know better than that!  I know life is about the journey!  I know it's about the process!  I know perfection is really a matter of perspective.  I know this stuff!  Hello!  UGH!  Relapse!

My life is what I make it everyday.  I get to choose which lens I will view my life through each day, each moment.  The windows need cleaning, yes, and they will be dirty again as soon as they are clean.  They are windows.  Accept it.  It's not a big deal.  The dishes need to be done, yep, they are dishes.  As soon as they're clean we will eat again and they will need to be washed again.  It doesn't mean I'm a horrible mother, homemaker, person.  Whatever.  If someone comes over and I have a sink full of dishes then they will know we eat.  (How awful!  Really?)  If they judge me, I can't do anything about it.  I probably won't even know!  So I didn't blog for a couple of months, this is true, but my mind is overflowing with ideas and insights.  I'm excited to let them take on a life of their own and here I am, taking the time.  It's all going to happen, it just can't ALL happen at the SAME TIME!!!  It's all good.  No worries!  Things could be so much worse...

When I take away all the self- induced pressure, I feel free.  When I let myself enjoy the process, I do.  When I celebrate the steps, it feels awesome!  When I appreciate my blessings, I see more things to appreciate.  When I let go of the negative judgement, I feel like I can do anything!  This includes my own negative judgements and any judgement I think others may impose on me.  Remember, what other people think about you is none of your business!  Nobody's life is perfect, even if it seems that way from your perspective.  It's all in how we choose to think about our life and it's circumstances that make life wonderful or overwhelming.  It's hard to see sometimes but it really is a choice.

So instead of spending any more time being annoyed with myself for these transgressions, I choose to celebrate the steps.  We really have gotten so much done around the house and had a great birthday party for Allison!  I made it to yoga and have been out for a couple of runs this past week.  I've spent quality time with family and look forward to spending some time with friends.  I have major plans for this blog and my new website that will be coming soon!  We have come so far in the last few years and life keeps getting better.  Now that I know better, I'm doing better.  I'm doing the best that I can.  I am good enough.  I am doing enough.  I am enough.  Period.  And so are you!

Can you relate?  Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed in your life?  Do you fall into this trap where you feel like you're never doing enough?  I encourage you to take some time for yourself to see what's up.  Be still.  Meditate.  Write.  Read.  Pray.  Reflect.  Seek.  Whatever it takes.  Life is meant to be beautiful!  You might find you want to do a complete overhaul in your life or maybe all you need is a simple shift in perspective.  Allow your life to get better and it will!  Know that you are worth it and that it's never too late to make a positive change!  :)  You can do it!

Love to you!
Kristie

P.S.  Peanut is doing much better now!  She has almost stopped limping and is her normal happy self again.  I'm grateful she's not ready for heaven quite yet!  :)

A Place to Call Home

The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want.

And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself.

And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself.

And the only way to be yourself, is to listen to your heart!

I do,   
 The Universe

~from Notes from The Universe

This is my favorite note from the "Notes from The Universe" by the fabulous Mike Dooley.  Since it came to me a few years ago my life has been forever changed.  The words are so simple yet so powerful.  What do I want?  Who am I, really?  What is being myself?  Am I listening to my heart?

I've definitely been listening to my heart.  All of my big life decisions were made by my heart first, logic second.  But what do I want?  Who am I outside of the roles I play like mother, daughter, wife, friend, teacher, consultant, etc.?  And what is it that I want again?

I've never been one to focus much on the so-called materialistic side of things.  When I quit my job to stay home with Allison I knew I was giving up my comfortable lifestyle.  I really didn't care.  I knew what I wanted.  I wanted to be home with my daughter.  As a teacher I had pretty much expected that I would only make so much money and get to do things "within reason" in my budget.  When we became a one income family, I knew we could cut back and I knew we would figure the rest out.  But after you keep cutting, and cutting, and cutting your budget you start to feel... well, deprived.  We were happy in many ways but life wasn't as comfortable as it used to be and it started to get old.  We were ready for a change.

The entrepreneur in me was awakening.  I started writing.  I wrote about what I wanted.  I focused on the abundance of the Universe and the fact that God would provide.  I started to let go of the thoughts that I had about material things. I knew that money and things didn't bring about happiness but having things and enjoying the abundance that life has to offer is a good thing!  I knew that if I figured out what I wanted, I could achieve it.  I trusted the process.  We decided to move to Texas.

Let's just say things worked out the way I expected them to with some exceptions and allowances.  I wanted to sell our house.  That was the best case scenario or so I thought.  The one showing that we had in 5 months and the one offer that came in was just not reasonable.  I knew it was a tough time to sell but I didn't want to give our house away.  I started to worry a bit about what we were going to do.  I knew I wanted to move and be in Texas by Thanksgiving.  Brad and I talked about it and we decided to rent it out.  Within 45 minutes of placing the ad we had a response.  We ended up having to turn people away and chose the first responder.  It was so EASY once I let go my idea of what HAD to happen!  And anyways, we had always talked about having rental properties as one of our MSI's (Multiple Sources of Income).  Texas, here we come!

We have been very fortunate to have my family here in Texas.  My parents are the best people I know and are so very kind and generous!  They invited us to stay with them until we settled in.  We have lived across the country from one another for about 15 years.  There was lots of catching up to do!  They made space for my family of four plus our little toy poodle, Peanut.  They welcomed us and treated us and helped us make a life here.  I am so grateful for all of their kindness and graciousness.  I admire their love (40+ years of marriage) and I appreciate that now I get to have them in my life on a regular basis.  

When you live with your parents when you're an adult it conjures up a lot of interesting feelings.  When I left the house as a college freshman, I came home every other weekend or so.  By sophomore year it was once a month.  By junior year I had a weekend job and a pretty active social life so....I rarely came home.  How was I to know that they missed me so much?  DUH!!!  I really had no idea!  I was just into my own life.  Now that I have my own daughters, I get it. 

Over the last 20 years I have seen friends that have lost their parents, their spouses, their grandparents, their pets, and even their child.  I have known people around my age and younger who have lost their lives.  Something has changed in me and I realize the preciousness of life and all the special moments.  I appreciate that I have been able to wake up in the morning to chat and have coffee with my Mom.  I love hearing my Dad in the morning and the garage door opening when he gets home from work.  The sounds and smells take me back to a place of my childhood and the "good old days" when life was easy and I didn't even know what stress felt like.  I love that we have had this chance to grow close again, for them to get to know my daughters, for us to be a family.  But now, it's time to move on.      

 

In my head I've had this timeline.  I wanted to be in our own place by April 1st.  I wrote it down on a sticky note and put it on my bedroom wall.  Allison turns five at the end of April and she'll start kindergarten in the fall.  I wanted to be in our own house by then so we could have her birthday at our house, enjoy the whole summer, and be ready for kindergarten in August.  I started looking at houses online.  I love Smartphones!  Every night before bed I would look at houses and think about what I wanted.  I wrote down all the things that I wanted and I tried to be very specific and detailed.  We started looking at houses.

My mom has told me stories of her and her brothers riding their bikes to their grandma's house to visit.  When I was a high school/college student I would smile and say "that's nice" to my mom, thinking ok, sure, that's nice, not gonna happen!  I don't even know why, I guess it's just that gaining independence thing.  (Please remind me of this when my daughters do the same thing!)  But 20 years later, there I was with a house for sale in my parent's neighborhood that I couldn't wait to see!  I dreamed about it and looked at the pictures so I could visualize us living there.  When we went to see the house it was so disappointing!  Too much work, amongst other issues and I knew instantly it was not the house for us.  But the seed was planted.  It would be so cool if my girls could walk and ride their bikes to their grandparent's house!

The house hunt continued.  There are so many houses for sale right now!  It truly is a buyer's market and the interest rates...wow!  It's such a great time to buy!  I kept telling myself that the right house would come to us, we just had to find it.  One Saturday we went to look at some houses and although I liked some things about them, I just wasn't feeling like any of them were the right pick.  I started to feel discouraged and we ended up looking at a model home.  Instantly, we felt a connection.  Wow!  We really liked a lot about this house, maybe we should consider building.  When we started thinking more about it though, we knew we didn't feel ready to commit to a builder, a neighborhood, or a house that was in our budget right now because we know that our budget will be bigger next year!  But we're ready to move now!  I could feel the stress starting to creep in.  And then, a brilliant idea!  Let's just rent for now and build our dream home later!  Ahhhhhh.....relief washed over me and I felt like a million pounds was lifted off my shoulders (that I didn't even realize I was carrying!).  Perfect idea!  Let's do it!

Sunday I took the girls for a walk and there it was in front of a gorgeous house right around the corner from my parent's house, a sign that said FOR LEASE!  What?????  Is this for real?  As soon as I got home I looked it up and there it was!  It looked perfect and the asking price was $5 less than I thought was reasonable for our budget.  I sent an email requesting a showing. 

Wednesday morning we checked it out.  What an awesome house!  It has so many of the things that I wrote down that I wanted!  Lots of space, open floor plan, office space, pantry, kitchen island, fireplace, deck, balcony with a view, master bathroom with a double vanity, his and hers walk-in closets, large bedrooms for the girls each with a walk-in closet, and a gameroom!  The agent told us others were interested so we took the application and I got right to work on it!  When I turned it back in I chatted with her a bit, I wanted her to know how much we wanted it!  Later that day I thought of a few other things I should've said but decided no, if it's meant to be, it will be.

I talked to Allison about it and we were getting all excited.  I asked her, wouldn't it be nice if you could go to the school around the corner and we could walk you to school everyday?  I started to say more but she said, wait a second, I have to talk to God for a second. 

Dear God, Please let us live in the house close to the school.  Thanks God.  Love, Allison Amen. 

I love the way she prays!  I told her that it was a great idea to ask God and she interrupted me, wait a second, I need to tell God one more thing,

Dear God,  Please come to my birthday party.  It's at Chuck E. Cheese.  You can follow us.  Thanks God.  Love, Allison

Awww!  I just love her! 

On Friday we went to run some errands.  I was cashing out at the register when my phone started playing Jingle Bell Rock.  I totally forgot I had set that tone for unidentified numbers back around Christmastime!  It's rare that someone I don't know calls me and this time it made my knees go weak and my heart get all fluttery.  I knew it was the agent.  When I got to the car I listened to the voicemail.  Yep, it was her and her voice gave no indication whether she had good news for me or not.  I took a deep breath and called her back.  She asked me, are you guys ready to pack?  Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!  We got the house!  

In less than a week after making a decision about renting, we found the perfect house!  The house was actually listed the same day that we made our decision and the agent told us that five other people were denied...the owner picked us!  I am so excited about how it all worked out! 

I have learned so much from this experience and these are the biggest things:  THINK about what you want.  WRITE down what you want.  DREAM about what you want.  BELIEVE you can have what you want.  And BE READY to take action when the opportunity comes!  TRUST YOURSELF and KNOW!  Also, appreciate, appreciate, appreciate!  This helps you to be in vibrational alignment with what you want and who you really are! 

Ok this post was long enough!  :)  Thanks for sharing this awesome experience with me! 

Has this kind of experience ever happened to you?  I'd love hear about it!  Please comment or email me!  kristie.ignash@gmail.com

Love to you!

Kristie

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